I thought by now I’d be further along,
That I’d care less about my hair or what I wear,
Less about pleasing, achieving, perfection.
I thought I’d be friends with my thighs, bare
Them at picnics on the beach, dance
With them in the ocean.
I thought by now I’d care less about what people think,
Think less about my skin, the rut between my brows,
And how God keeps letting us down.
I thought by now I’d know how
To properly butcher a chicken and stop holding on
To pants I no longer fit in.
I thought by now I’d be gentler with myself,
Be able to enjoy AN ENTIRE BAGEL
Without condemnation or a repentant 5k.
I thought by now I wouldn’t worry about my children
Growing to hate me or worse: apathy.
I thought by now I’d floss every morning,
Wash the makeup off my face every night,
Meditate, be over the heartache, enjoy eggplant,
And finally see the good guys win.
Also?
I thought I’d be more cynical, more devoid of hope.
But the stars give me perspective and
The Old Gods of the Forest tell me Truth and
I sip that magic elixir, coffee, and I feel the love of friends,
And I know in my knower there is goodness in the land.
And so, perhaps, I am farther along than I thought.
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cara gabrielse 
You are such a good writer!!! Love your words and thoughts! Miss you my beautiful friend!
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thank you misty! xo
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Awesome. Cara your writing always moves me 💕💕💕
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thank you vicki! xo
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Cara so good to see your face! How are you guys? Are you working? What church are you all involved with? Still in same house? How are parents? I was just thinking about Lucy the other day. Can you give me an update? Would love to hear anything you want to share!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow- DeeDee
>
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thanks deedee! hope all is well with you
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Congratulations on another spin around the sun, Cara. Sue forwarded this post on to me.
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thanks trish! think of you often!
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This was so good! I could get into reading poetry if it came from you. I told Tad you need to write a book. I’m out of town through October, but would love to catch up in November.
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thank you monica! looking forward to catching up xo
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