This is 57

I thought by now I’d be further along, 
That I’d care less about my hair or what I wear, 
Less about pleasing, achieving, perfection.

I thought I’d be friends with my thighs, bare
Them at picnics on the beach, dance
With them in the ocean. 

I thought by now I’d care less about what people think, 
Think less about my skin, the rut between my brows,
And how God keeps letting us down. 
I thought by now I’d know how 
To properly butcher a chicken and stop holding on
To pants I no longer fit in. 

I thought by now I’d be gentler with myself,  
Be able to enjoy AN ENTIRE BAGEL 
Without condemnation or a repentant 5k. 

I thought by now I wouldn’t worry about my children 
Growing to hate me or worse: apathy. 

I thought by now I’d floss every morning, 
Wash the makeup off my face every night, 
Meditate, be over the heartache, enjoy eggplant, 
And finally see the good guys win.


I thought I’d be more cynical, more devoid of hope. 
But the stars give me perspective and 
The Old Gods of the Forest tell me Truth and
I sip that magic elixir, coffee, and I feel the love of friends,
And I know in my knower there is goodness in the land. 

And so, perhaps, I am farther along than I thought. 

10 thoughts on “This is 57

  1. Cara so good to see your face! How are you guys? Are you working? What church are you all involved with? Still in same house? How are parents? I was just thinking about Lucy the other day. Can you give me an update? Would love to hear anything you want to share!

    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow- DeeDee



  2. This was so good! I could get into reading poetry if it came from you. I told Tad you need to write a book. I’m out of town through October, but would love to catch up in November.


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